With
the preliminaries all covered in the previous blog, the wedding and the murder
ship - The Rhapsody of the Seas, let’s move onto all of the exotic sights my child
bride and I saw. But let’s remember, every night was a party aboard with
unlimited drinks, so we tended to be somewhat groggy during the day, often not
stirring until 10 am before embarking on our adventure.
First
Stop: Costa Maya, Mexico
The
actual original name of this fishing village is Mahahual, but once cruise ships
staring going there it was redubbed to make the place sound more exotic. This
was my first taste of Mexico, apart from certain disastrous parts of my
childhood, so I was a little curious. Everyone flips back and forth on Mexico. Either
the place is run by drug cartels and corrupt cops and who will kidnap you and
rape your children, or it was a wonderful place where everyone was happy,
happy, happy. I didn’t see either of these.
As
we got off the ship, we had to show, not our passport, but our cruise card to
the waiting officials. While also being our room key, this little beauty acted
as our personal magic wand all over the ship, every time we wanted something we
had to display the card to charge us later on or determine if we were part of a
pre-paid package. Here it was more important than our US government
documentation. It allowed entrance and, more importantly, exit from the
country. Drug dogs sniffed our bags going into the port, but not going back on.
We
walked down a long pier and into one of the greatest man made tourist traps
ever devised. It was a three block long, twisty-turny collection of open air
bistros, souvenir shops, and bars. As a visiting gringo, everything you could
want was in this maze: tchotchkes, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, t-shirts, mugs,
souvenir spoons, magnets imprinted with the Mexican flag, Cuban cigars, leather
wallets, sombreros, maracas, and so on. This was topped off by a large artificial
pool right in the center of the complex, where one could soak in the sun’s rays
or, for a modest fee, play around with inflatable animals. The one thing you
couldn’t do was swim in the ocean, which is one of the main reasons for going
to the Caribbean.
Knowing
this ahead of time, my wife, master of discovering new things, had arraigned
for us to travel to a little spot away from the main drag. A wonderful joint
called the Krazy Lobster. But first we had to get out of this maze. My wife had
actually watched a video about a person navigating this area, but the officials
must’ve added onto it since then, as she became confused after a certain spot.
As
she tried to figure out the correct path to the cab lot, the heat began getting
to me. Normally there’s a nice ocean breeze to offset the high temperature, but
the ring of stalls blocked this. A powerful thirst descended on me, but my natural
frugalness (called “cheapness” by some) stopped me. I had a full drinks package
on ship. Why would I pay for some overpriced Mexican Pepsi, when I could get it
for free not very far away?
My
wife was starting to become very upset, this forced us to cut behind some
stalls and walk through some forbidden paths until we emerged on the outside of
the boardwalk. Here is where the reality of this fishing village began to take
shape. The tourist boardwalk was nice and happily framed, everything was
freshly painted and presented with a positive image. The actual village was
much more depressed (not as much as what we saw in Honduras and Belize, as you
will read), but the contrast caused me to start. Let’s say it’s the difference between
being in Disney World and a regular American neighborhood.
 |
| View of the Krazy Lobster |
Buckets
of Mexican beer (there are other brands beyond Corona) were brought out. I justified
the purchase by saying these were brands not available on the ship. Then we dug
into what I was really waiting for: The Lobster. As you can tell from the photo
below this is not a Maine Lobster, but one indigenous to the Caribbean. The main
difference being a lack of front claws. These were cooked in a savory cheese sauce,
with chunks of papaya and mango. We ate four between us. Rarely have I ever
been so fat and happy. Fat, yes. Happy, no. We’d eat a lobster, have a beer,
run the five steps into the ocean, flounder around for an hour, get out, and
repeat the process. Loads of fun.
 |
| Caribbean Lobster |
The
original plan was to go elsewhere and soak in more culture, but it was so nice
that we ended staying the whole day. During that time I saw a lot of other
tourists come and go and I noticed one bizarre fact. None of them ordered the
lobster. It was all, “Can I get a plate of nachos?” or “I’ll have the hamburger
and fries”. Who the hell goes to Mexico to order a hamburger? Granted, their
main dish was pricey, but don’t you want to try something different when in a foreign
country? Not sit around and compare this fast food to that in the USA.
The
only other annoyance was that the place was deluged with people hawking their
wares. While this was a step up from the normal beggars I was used to, it was
still a never ending stream. Every five minutes someone came by to ask us if we
were interested in their crappy merchandise. After we said no they moved on without
a hassle, but having to say no over and over was a bit of a grind. I did relent
and pick up a few Cuban cigars and a leather wallet. The guy claimed it was
handmade by his family, who had personally shot and skinned the cow it came
from, but I was skeptical. It sure looked like a lot of the wallets I saw in
the tourist trap. Little tip, it’s expected to haggle with these beach vendors.
Never pay the first asking price.
 |
| My new wallet |
After
such a relaxing day, we wandered back to the ship to soak in more on-board
atmosphere and speculate on our next stop: Belize. More on that in the next
post.
For more readings, try books by Rex Hurst.
No comments:
Post a Comment