Saturday, January 28, 2017

Jeff Death: First Meeting

Show where Jeff first recited Ode to Knockers
This entry is dedicated to a particular great friend, on the fifth anniversary of his death. Jeff Death. Mr. Scary, with biceps as big as a man’s head, blue piercing eyes, and a leering grinning mouth, that said, “I could make your body into a really great sideboard.” He was strong enough to punch a hole into a windshield and not hurt himself. A good old farm boy with a lecherous mind, and a tongue for filthy slogans. Many were scared of him, but trust me, Jeff’ was a really great guy.
                        First Meeting
It was when I first started college. I still stayed in touch with people from High School, and my pal Tony House came up to me, telling me about this “cool” show, Rocky Horror, and said we had to go. Now I should have known about it, as it was literally around the corner from my house, but I had lain in ignorance for several years until Mr. House came a-knocking at my door. My curiosity was pricked, I went and became an instant addict. I’ll go into my experiences in a latter entry, but suffice it to say I met many strange characters. One of them was Jeff Death.
He used to shave his head, paint it white and run around, dressed in a cowl, with a roaring chainsaw. He was Death personified, come to gut us. We’d all go out to Denny’s afterwards, get the room in the back, and talk and talk until the wee hours of the morning. Those not having a car would hitch rides home, and one night I rode with Jeff alone. Until then I had never really spoken to him before, never thought anything really. He was just a guy, you know?
My first conversation was very odd. It was dark, and we were driving down one of those under lit Buffalo side streets. The radio was on, and suddenly Jeff leaned over and snapped it off. He glanced at me, leering and licking his lips.
“Hey,” he said, “Do you know how to shrink a human head?”
I had to admit my knowledge of this anatomical feat was sorely lacking.
“Well first you have to cut the head off, not that hard really….”
He went on about removing the skull, ditching the eyes, sewing up the orifices, curing the skin, what herbs and minerals to pack the head with, and on and on. Such detailed knowledge. If you can skin a deer, you can shrink a human head.
And all the while he was going on about this, I thought, “Wow, this is a guy I have to get to know better.”
I saw in him, as well as others at Rocky, a kindred spirit.
    This is the first of six entries on this remarkable man. Stay tuned.