Saturday, January 11, 2020

My Readings for 2019

        2019 has ended! Another long year of pandering to my reading addiction. But my folly can be your joy. For this installment I decided to list all of the books that I've read this year that I have deemed worthwhile. Again, these are just the good ones. There have been just as many that were terrible, which I will spare you. For more suggestions look at my What I've Been Reading page. Enjoy and Caveat Emptor!  
















G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero, Vol. 23 - Artifical Intelligence



Weird Love: That's the Way I Like It! 





The Burroughs File 










Hellraiser: The Dark Watch Vol. 3 


The King in the Golden Mask  



Insufferable: On the Road 







The True Death of Billy the Kid

The Bell Jar













The Collected Omaha the Cat Dancer Volume 5 






The Collected "Omaha" The Cat Dancer Vol. 4










Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron 






















The Ultimate Gnatrat

Planet of the Apes

















https://rexhurst.blogspot.com/2019/06/classics-illustrated-secret-agent.html
Classics Illustrated: The Secret Agent 

https://rexhurst.blogspot.com/2019/06/viz-sausage-sandwich.html











Mighty Tiny: The Mouse Marines 




https://rexhurst.blogspot.com/2019/05/cortez-and-fall-of-aztecs.html






























Saturday, December 14, 2019

The Disturbing Weddings of Nero


Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus was the fifth emperor of Rome and the last of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, which fell due to the sheer incompetence and outrageous behavior of their emperor. His treatment of Christians is the basis for being named the Beast of the Apocalpyse in the Book of Revelations (if you add up all the roman numerals in his full, it add up to 666). Having ruled for thirteen years and eight months, his obscene activities have cemented his infamy nearly two thousand years later.

The boy Sporus mentioned here may have been what is called a “puer delicates”. That is, child-slave chosen by his master for his beauty as a "boy toy" and castrated to preserve that beauty. Which was an understood, if not standard, tradition in Roman society. Thus Nero’s action were not totally without precedent, but one did not marry such people.

This text comes from Suetonius’s 12 Caesars, written in 121 BCE. One criticism of this work is that the author did focus on rumor and old gossip as much as he did on historical facts. On the other hand, much of the material on Nero’s scandal ridden reign has been backed up by many, many other contemporary sources. So we may assume most of what is written below is true.
 

“Having tried to turn the boy Sporus into a girl by castration, he went through a wedding ceremony with him- dowry, bridal veil, and all- took him to his palace with a great crowd in attendance, and treated him as a wife. A rather amusing joke is still going the rounds: the world would have been a happier place had Nero’s father, Domitius, married that sort of wife. He dressed Sporus in fine clothes normally worn by an empress, and took him his own litter not only to every Greek assize [judicial court] and fair but actually through the Street of the Sigillaria at Rome, kissing him amorously now and then.

“The lecherous passion he felt for his mother, Agrippina, was notorious, but her enemies would not let him consummate it, fearing that if he did she would become even more powerful and ruthless than hitherto. So he found a new mistress said to be her spitting image; some say that he did in fact commit incest with Agrippina every time they rode in the same litter - the stains on the clothes proved it.

“Nero practiced every kind of obscenity, and after defiling almost every part of his body finally invented a novel game: He was released from a cage dressed in the skins of wild animals, and attacked the private parts of men and women who stood bound by the stakes. After working up sufficient excitement by this means, he was dispatched –shall we say? - by his freedman Doryphorus. Doryphorus now married him - just as he himself had been married to Sporus. And on the wedding night, [Nero] imitated the screams and moans of a girl being deflowered.”
For more readings, try books by Rex Hurst. 
 
 

Saturday, December 7, 2019

11th Century Crusade Against Homosexuality


 
The following excerpt is from Pietro Damiani’s Book of Gomorrah (1048) which is mostly a writing denouncing the vices of the clergy, homosexuality being among the foremost. Damiani was a zealot for monastic and clerical reform and introduced a more severe discipline, including the practice of self-flagellation, into the house, which, under his rule, quickly attained celebrity, and became a model for other foundations.


“A cleric or monk who seduces youths or young boys or is found kissing or in any other impure situations is to be publically flogged and lose his tonsure [The practice of cutting or shaving some or all of the hair on the scalp as a sign of religious devotion or humility]. When his hair has been shorn his face to is be foully besmeared with spit and he is to be bound in iron chains. For six months he will languish in prisonlike confinement and on three days of the week shall fast on barley bread in the evening. After this he will spend another six months under the custodial care of a spiritual elder, remaining in a segregated cell, giving himself to manual work and prayers, subject to vigils and prayers. He may go for walks but always under the custodial care of two spiritual brethren, and he shall never associate with youths in private conversation more in counselling them.
Clerical tonsure
 
“… To publish this crime, this enormous crime, is it not enough to be whipped in public, to lose his tonsure, to be shamefully shaven, to be smeared with spit, to be cruelly imprisoned for a long time and to be bound in iron chains besides? Yet finally he is also ordered to be struck with a fast of barley bread since it is right that whoever acts like a horse and a mule not eat the food of men but is to feed on the grain of mules.

 For more readings, try books by Rex Hurst. 
 
 
 

Saturday, November 30, 2019

A Woman Describes Sex with the Devil- 1662 Witchcraft Trial.


Isobel Gowdie, aka the Witch of Auldearn, was a Scottish woman who confessed to witchcraft during the Great Scottish Witch Hunt of 1661- 1662. The confessions include details of charms and rhymes, claims she was a member of a coven in the service of the Devil, and that she met with the fairy queen and king. Apart from her confessions it is unknown why she was arrested or came forward, though it has been suggested that she suffered from ergotism, a dementia from long term poisoning by bad wheat.
Her ultimate fate is unknown, but she was most likely ultimately put to death. Her confessions are quite fanciful and an interesting read (if you can wade through all the old-time spelling and syntax- most of which I have cleaned up for this entry), but I will be content in presenting to you one of the most choice bits. Sex with the Infernal.
“First as I was going between the towns of Druwdewin and The Headis, the Devil met with me and there I covenanted with him and promised to meet him in the night time, in the Kirk of Aulderne, which I did. He stood at the reader’s desk, and a black book in his hand, where I came before him and renounced Jesus Christ and my baptism; and all between the sole of my foot and the crown of my head.  I got up freely and went over to the Devil. Margaret Brodie, in Aulderne, held me up to the Devil, until he re-baptized me, and marked me in the shoulder, and with his mouth sucked out my blood at that place, and sprouted it in his hand, and sprinkling it upon my head and face, he said, ‘I baptize ye, Janet, to myself, in my own name!’ Within a while we all left.
 
“And within a few days, he came to me, in the New Ward’s of Inshoch and there had carnal copulation with me. He was a very huge, black, rough man; and I found his nature [semen] within me all cold as spring well water. He will lie all heavy upon us, when he had carnal dealing with us, like a sack of barley malt. His member is exceedingly great and long; no man’s member is as long and big as his. He would be among us like a stud horse among mares. He would lie with us in the presence of the multitude; neither of us had any kind of shame; but especially he has no shame at all. He would lie and have carnal dealing with us in the shape of a deer or any other shape that he would be in. We would never refuse him. He would come to my house-top in the shape of a crow, or like a deer, or in any other shape now and then.
“I would recognize his voice, at the first hearing of it, and would go forth and have carnal copulation with him. The youngest and lustiest women will have very great pleasure in their carnal copulation with him, yea much more than their own husbands; and they will have an exceedingly great desire for it with him, as much as he can give them and more, and never think shame of it. He is abler for us that way any man can be (Alas! That I should compare him to any man!) only he is heavy like a barely malt; a huge nature, very cold as ice.”
For more readings, try books by Rex Hurst. 
 
 

Friday, October 25, 2019

Charles II: Trapped in a Brothel


King Charles II of England had many problem to face after being restored to the throne following the death of Oliver Cromwell: The Great Plague of 1665, the Great Fire of 1666, major conflicts with Parliament, and so on. But he also had a nasty habit of traveling incognito to the brothels of London. One friend of his the Earl of Rochester decided to teach the King a little lesson on the dangers of his nocturnal adventures.  
This account of the tale was recorded by Theophilus Cibber, a well-known poet, playwright, and actor in London. He was also known to exaggeration, so one must take this account with a grain of salt.
 
[Rochester] agreed to go out one night with him to visit a celebrated house of intrigue, where he told his majesty the finest women in England were to be found. The King [didn’t hesitate] to assume his usual disguise and accompany him, and while he was engaged with one of the ladies of pleasure, being before instructed by Rochester how to behave, she pick’d his pocket of all his money and watch, which the king did not immediately miss. Neither she nor the people of the house were made acquainted with the quality of their visitor, nor had the least suspicion of who he was.
When the intrigue was ended, the King enquired for Rochester but was told he had quitted the house, without taking leave. But into what embarrassment was he thrown when upon searching his pockets, in order to discharge the reckoning, he found his money gone; he was then reduced to ask the jezebel to give him credit until tomorrow, as the gentlemen who came with him had not returned, who was to have pay’d for both. The consequence of this request was, he was abused, laughed at; and the old woman told him, that she had often been served such dirty tricks, and would not permit him to stir till the reckoning was paid, and then called one of her bullies to take care of him.

Theophilus Cibber

 
In this ridiculous distress stood the British monarch, the prisoner of a bawd, and the life upon whom the nation’s hopes were fixed, put in the power of a ruffian. After many altercations the King at last proposed that she should accept a ring which he took off his finger, in pledge for her money, which she likewise refused, and told him that she was no judge of the value of the ring, she did not choose to accept such a pledge. The King then desired that a jeweler might be called to give his opinion on the value of it but he was answered that the expedient was impractical as no jeweler could then be supposed to be out of bed. After much entreaty, his Majesty at last prevailed upon the fellow to knock up a jeweler and show him the ring, which as soon as he had inspected, he stood amazed and enquired, which eyes fixed upon the fellow: who he had got in his house? To which [the man] answered,
“A black looking ugly son of whore who had no money in his pocket and was obliged to pawn his ring.”
“The ring,” says the jeweler, “is so immensely rich that but one man in the nation could afford to wear it; and that one is the King.”
Charles II
            The jeweler being astonished at this incident, went out with the bully, in order to be fully satisfied of so extraordinary an affair; and as soon as he entered the room, he fell on his knees, and with the utmost respect presented the ring to his Majesty. The old jezebel and the bully finding the extraordinary quality of their guest were now confounded and asked pardon most submissively on their knees. The King in his best natured manner forgave them, and laughing asked them whether the ring would bear another bottle.
Thus ended this adventure, in which the King learned how dangerous it was to risk his person in night frolics.
-Theophilus Cibber
 For more readings, try books by Rex Hurst. 

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Sneak Peak- Jaloon: Assassin's Cape

 

Now Available on Amazon in print and ebook. 



The Phentari assassin chuckled. Stupid alien. Falling for such a simple trick. Her dependence on gadgets would be her undoing. After gaining the target’s data number from the planet’s hypernet’s central directory, he had sent Jaloon a call using a fol probe. It registered as a familiar number on their datapad, then attached a virus to the device after it was answered. This allowed him to track her all over the city, the whole system if needed. 

His father had sold him the device and, until now, the assassin thought he had been ripped off. Surely no one could be so naive as to not have system protections built into their personal devices. Protection against the invisible eye and the lords-above-who-would-eat-you was one of the primal traits pounded into him as a child. But his father assured him that these lesser species, even ones that the Phentari people were friendly with, like the Orions, were incredibly lax and stupid. It was simply one more sign of how the Phentari were destined to dominate the other races in the Alliance. 

Even as the target zipped around the underground transport system, the probe perfectly followed her across the city. He patted his hidden rifle, carefully stored in false items about his person. This was easy. Track her until she stopped. Wait for an opportunity. Pull trigger. Reap the rewards. 
 


***

Jimune ran The Gizzemn- which was an insect on the Orion homeworld often ground up and injected into female genitalia as an aphrodisiac. It was also Orion slang for a digital whorehouse. If one supplied an image and voice pattern, maybe some raw footage of a person moving, they could have their fantasy molded for a reasonable fee. 

A reusable polydropaline blob was dropped over a wire skeleton and shaped with digital guidance by lasers and micro-scalpels into as perfect a copy as could be. A modulator that mimicked voices was installed with an operator talking dirty on the other end, feeding the client’s experience.  It felt and looked real, unless you expected the simulation to move, then you were disappointed. 

It wasn’t always used for sex. If your boss was giving you trouble, you could recreate the bastard and beat him up. Decapitate that pesky neighbor. Rip the tongue out of that lying politician. Or gun down that one guy who took your parking space. The only limit was your perverted imagination.  

Jaloon was called in because the run-off from the polydropaline was quite sticky and, if not properly maintained, could build up and clog the nozzles. Lo and behold, her cheap cousin didn’t schedule regular maintenance and things became fouled up during a session with  a borough president’s aide when the thing melted on the woman. Threats were made. Permits might be pulled. Hence, the emergency call from Jimune to his cousin. 

She crawled into the filthy works and shot suction probes down the gunked up lines, using a forced vacuum to get the stuff moving. All the while Jimune loitered around, trying to make small talk as if they had a healthy relationship. 

“Are you going to that Gullges Day party over at Uncle Poy’s place?”

“No,” Jaloon said, very annoyed and equally dirty. A lot of sticky fluid was leaking all over her. “Last time I talked to him, he got me and his son mixed up in a smuggling deal with gangsters that nearly sent us crashing into the side of a planet on a dead ship.” 

“Yeah well, he didn’t know that was how things would play out.” 

 “Besides no one celebrates that here. That’s from the old planet, Taos. I’d have to take an unpaid day off work and I can’t afford it right now.” 

“Take a sick day.” 

“I’ve used them all for the year and all my vacation time too.” 

“Then claim some religious shit. A feast day for a dead guy like the Heyzeusians do.” 

“Company clamped down on that. Any religious functions have to come out of personal leave days.” 

“Isn’t that illegal?” 

“Not if they do it to every religion uniformly.  No discrimination, everyone gets screwed.” She pulled herself from inside the machine and rubbed filthy hands on already filthy overalls. “Looks like we’re all set.”

He lead her to the front waiting room, a small affair with a few gelatinous contour chairs and a virtual receptionist. They touched credit sticks and the money was exchanged. 

“You got everything?” he asked.

She checked her overall pockets. “Yeah, I think…”

Crack. Tinkle. 

A small hole popped into the storefront flexglass window. Odd. She stuck her lower thumb in it. Perfectly round. Jimune shuffled behind her. Something splattered on the floor. She turned. 

Her cousin had a corresponding hole in the center of his throat. Blood pumped out of it in spurts. Confusion wracked his face. He teetered, then fell face first on the floor.


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Now Available on Amazon in print and ebook.