King
Charles II of England had many problem to face after being restored to the throne
following the death of Oliver Cromwell: The Great Plague of 1665, the Great
Fire of 1666, major conflicts with Parliament, and so on. But he also had a
nasty habit of traveling incognito to the brothels of London. One friend of his
the Earl of Rochester decided to teach the King a little lesson on the dangers
of his nocturnal adventures.
This
account of the tale was recorded by Theophilus Cibber, a well-known poet,
playwright, and actor in London. He was also known to exaggeration, so one must
take this account with a grain of salt.
[Rochester]
agreed to go out one night with him to visit a celebrated house of intrigue,
where he told his majesty the finest women in England were to be found. The
King [didn’t hesitate] to assume his usual disguise and accompany him, and
while he was engaged with one of the ladies of pleasure, being before
instructed by Rochester how to behave, she pick’d his pocket of all his money
and watch, which the king did not immediately miss. Neither she nor the people
of the house were made acquainted with the quality of their visitor, nor had
the least suspicion of who he was.
When
the intrigue was ended, the King enquired for Rochester but was told he had
quitted the house, without taking leave. But into what embarrassment was he
thrown when upon searching his pockets, in order to discharge the reckoning, he
found his money gone; he was then reduced to ask the jezebel to give him credit
until tomorrow, as the gentlemen who came with him had not returned, who was to
have pay’d for both. The consequence of this request was, he was abused,
laughed at; and the old woman told him, that she had often been served such
dirty tricks, and would not permit him to stir till the reckoning was paid, and
then called one of her bullies to take care of him.
Theophilus Cibber |
In
this ridiculous distress stood the British monarch, the prisoner of a bawd, and
the life upon whom the nation’s hopes were fixed, put in the power of a
ruffian. After many altercations the King at last proposed that she should accept
a ring which he took off his finger, in pledge for her money, which she likewise
refused, and told him that she was no judge of the value of the ring, she did
not choose to accept such a pledge. The King then desired that a jeweler might
be called to give his opinion on the value of it but he was answered that the
expedient was impractical as no jeweler could then be supposed to be out of
bed. After much entreaty, his Majesty at last prevailed upon the fellow to
knock up a jeweler and show him the ring, which as soon as he had inspected, he
stood amazed and enquired, which eyes fixed upon the fellow: who he had got in
his house? To which [the man] answered,
“A
black looking ugly son of whore who had no money in his pocket and was obliged
to pawn his ring.”
“The
ring,” says the jeweler, “is so immensely rich that but one man in the nation
could afford to wear it; and that one is the King.”
Charles II |
Thus
ended this adventure, in which the King learned how dangerous it was to risk
his person in night frolics.
-Theophilus
Cibber