Saturday, April 1, 2017

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things: Bad Film by Talented People

         The underwhelming 1972 zombie horror film, somewhat tongue-in-cheek and a budget made from loose change found in a couch, is a fun film to watch when hanging out with friends and imbibing a ton of alcohol.
          The basic story is that a group of snotty drug addled theater types go off to a deserted New England island where there once used to be a small village. There they trundle off to an old graveyard and perform a satanic ritual used to summon up the devil and bring the dead to life. When it seemingly doesn’t work the leader, Alan, gets all bent out of shape and begins hurling insults at the great beast. They then desecrate a grave, dig up its occupant (named Orville), and drag it to an old house where they spend the night drinking and ingesting hallucinogens.
          One of the women, Anya, gets a little too into Orville (“He’s so beautiful!”) so Alan drag him into another room and has a nice heart to heart with the corpse (“You’re the only one I can trust, Orville.”). But of course, what happens? The dead do rise as zombies, it just took them a minute to get going. So everyone in this incredible bunch of pretentious and annoying would-be thespians is eaten which is probably the best ending I could think of for this crowd of irritating characters.
Alan Ormsby in Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
          Now the interesting thing is that this Z-Grade zombie flick was written and produced by some talented people, several of whom went onto do some great things. It was written in part by Alan Ormsby (who plays Alan, surprise, surprise) who went on to write classics like My Bodyguard, the 1982 version of Cat People, Porky’s II, and The Substitute, among many others. While the other writer and director, Bob Clark (credited here as Benjamin Clark) went on to direct such seminal classics as Porky’s, Black Christmas, A Christmas Story, Murder by Decree, Turk 182!, and From the Hip.
          Rumor has it that Bob Clark was attempting to do a remake of Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things  but unfortunately his death in a car accident in 2007 prevented it.
          The entire film is below. Enjoy and Caveat Emptor!